This book was a game changer for me! The Dance of Anger helped me many, many years ago. I was in a new marriage; I had two children and two step-children. I was overwhelmed and yet trying to be the best wife, mom, student, employee…well you get the picture! This book guided me to bring balance in my life and my marriage. Keep in mind, it was not easy but well worth it!!
I studied relationships in my doctoral program and discovered this book; We have to talk. I love it! Let me say this, one thing that is important to me in my work as a therapist is that both people in a relationship feel supported and understood. This book is a wonderful guide to help men and women gain mutual understanding as to what each person feels in a relationship. If you want to gain a better understanding of gender differences and communication (that supports both men and women), this book will be helpful to you.
This book is a wonderful guide about common dialogue patterns that evolve in relationships. I did get so much from this book. The only thing that I would say about Hold Me Tight is that these dialogue patterns are only one aspect to challenges in a relationship. While I firmly believe that it will help you in your relationship, I think that relationships are far too complicated to narrow relational challenges to dialogue patterns. That being said, I do believe it is a very helpful guide for patterns of dialogue that occur in many relationships.
I just had to include The Art of Loving! Keep in mind that this book is about the “philosophy of love”, it is not an actual ‘how to’ book. However, I loved this book because he discusses the need to study relationships and learn how to be in them. Fromm talks about the importance of giving in a relationship but breaks it down to “healthy giving” and “destructive giving”, I just love it!
When I find an author that I enjoy, I tend to read all of their books! The Dance of Connection is about how to use your “authentic” voice in relationships! She does a wonderful job discussing that challenge to be vulnerable with our partner as well as coping with hurt and pain. I like the way she discusses “the apology.”
I read The Dance of Intimacy shortly after The Dance of Anger. I think that I find most books on relationships rather humbling. Meaning that I learn things about myself that were invisible to me. I am grateful for the learning and at the same time, humbled. This book was one that was humbling for me, especially the chapter on distancing.
Oh my, discovering bell hooks and The Will To Change was right up my alley!! I am very passionate about understanding both “sides” in a relationship. People fear couples counseling because they don’t want to be blamed. Who would want to be blamed!! I think it is a fine line between understanding the challenges that we bring to a relationship and taking responsibility for them with self-compassion. Bell hooks does a wonderful job of providing an understanding of men and women while at the same time encouraging accountability. I love this book!
The High Sensitive Person in Love is very personal for me! I am a highly sensitive person!! Being highly sensitive has it’s positive and negative aspects to it. Read my blog The Flip Side of Love! This book is helpful to those who are sensitive as well as to those in a relationship with a sensitive person. Keep in mind, we are born with a sensitive temperament. Therefore, it is helpful to understand it! It is worth stating that both women and men can have a sensitive temperament.
I discovered Daring to Trust when I was feeling challenged to trust again after I had been hurt in my marriage. Keep in mind, we all hurt each other and trust can be an obstacle to reconnection. This book is a very helpful guide to regain trust and connection.
This book is amazing. It is short (takes about 15 minutes to read), it is informative and it is done in animation. The Two Step describes a very common relational pattern in many relationships and shows you have to shift out of this destructive pattern. This book is a winner!