Subtle Fears and Your Relationship

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Different degrees of fear exist in all relationships. Just to preface, I am not referring to fear of abuse, intimidation, threats, and/or physical harm. I am referring to the fear that often goes unrecognized in relationships because when we think of “fear” we think of it on a larger scale. Fear of divorce or fear that your partner is cheating, for example. The fears that I am referring to can be subtle, beneath the surface. And I often find that ...

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Up close and personal: Learning about relationships on the road!!

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In my last blog, I wrote about my discovery of missing the small day-to-day encounters with my husband while he was away. Fast forward to writing this blog post and how I found myself being tested again! Funny how things work in a relationship, well at least my relationship – I don’t want to speak for everyone! Here’s our story, I know you will relate in some way or another!

My husband and I went to Vermont for ...

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Six Days Without My Husband – Lesson Learned!

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My husband and I have been married 26 years this August, and we’ve been together almost 30 years. As is true with most couples, we have had our good times, hard times, super challenging times, growing together times, and, well you know what I mean.

I recently learned a lesson that caught me a bit by surprise…….

But first let me say that during our 26 plus years together, I have experienced both being happy in my marriage and I have had ...

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What is going on in our relationship?

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There are many challenges in relationships but there is one that we rarely talk about. Before we take a deeper look into this challenge let’s look at a few of the concerns that people often express in their relationships:

~ My partner won’t talk about issues

~ I hate and avoid conflict

~ We don’t have sex or we don’t have enough sex

~ My partner doesn’t understand

~ I do not trust my partner

I have no doubt that you can add to this list. ...

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Two Sides of the Coin in Love

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Do you remember when you met your partner and fell in love? What did you love? Did you love his/her kindness? Or maybe their free spirit or humor? Maybe their work ethic? You name it! Have you ever heard the idea that portrays that the attributes of our partners that we fall in love with end up becoming the things that we don’t like about them? This is actually true. So let’s talk about why this happens and how we ...

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Are you Listening to me?

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There have been times in my marriage (I’m sure this will sound familiar to you) when I have been talking to my husband and I don’t feel like he is listening (in the way that I need – I’ll say more about that soon!). His face shows little emotion when I’m talking and he does not respond verbally. I then ask him, “Are you listening to me?” His response is “I can repeat every word you said”. I know that ...

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Are you Trying to Change me?

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The question of change in relationships is complex. In relationships I’ve often heard one half accuse the other, saying “Don’t try to change me!” The topic of change is a challenging one, mainly because we all want and deserve to be seen, loved, and accepted for who we are as a person. The real question to explore here is the following: is it change that we want or is it personal growth? So let’s explore the difference!

Wanting Change vs. Personal ...

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Important, Yet Often Overlooked in Relationships!

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We all know the complex challenges that come with being in a fulfilling relationship. And yet, there is something that I want to discuss that is often overlooked and a bit more positive in our relationships!

All too often couples begin therapy with ‘their hair on fire’! Meaning that their relationship is in serious trouble, they are scared, angry, hurt, and often feel hopeless. This is where the challenging work of therapy begins. Emotions are expressed and need to be unraveled ...

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How to Get Through Hard Times Together

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Perhaps one of the most painful challenges of a relationship is when you are unexpectedly struck by a painful event. This could be the abrupt death of a loved one, a frightening health diagnosis, or job loss, just to name a few. It is frightening to know how we will get through these hard times together.

When we come together in love, we have dreams of a beautiful life together and hopes of sustained love. Rarely do we imagine the hard ...

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Projection: What is it & how does it hurt your relationship?

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I discussed in my last blog that reacting defensively is complicated. Let’s talk about this a bit more because these are challenges that occur in all relationships. As promised, I will explain the difference between being defensive and defending oneself in our relationships.

 The challenge that all of us bring to our relationships:

There will be times when you will be stunned by something that your partner says to you. Perhaps you will find yourself on the receiving end of ...

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