I’m so stressed!

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“I’m so stressed!!” We say this all the time. The problem with stress is that we rarely dig deeper into exploring what we actually mean when we say we are stressed. I am not denying the existence of stress. Life is hard. Life is busy. Clearly, stress takes its toll on us. We know that illness can be the direct result of stress, some say that 80% of illness is due to stress! This is why it is worth looking ...

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What Creates Unnecessary Misunderstanding in a Relationship?

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There are many frustrating aspects to a relationship, but feeling misunderstood is at the top of my list! I know that I’m not alone: I see this frustration in my work with couples all the time. Let’s talk about the one challenge that leads to many misunderstandings in relationships. This one:

“We judge ourselves based on our good intentions and yet, we judge others based on their behavior”

 

Let me explain with an example:

One evening you ...

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Can You Continue To Love Someone Who’s Behaved Badly?

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“How do you reconcile your love for someone with the revelation that they behaved badly?” Today’s media is full of stories of condemnable behaviors, and it is easy to write off a person if we don’t have any real ties to them. But what happens if our partner is the one who is behaving in a way that hurts you and/or other loved ones. This blog is not about the stories in the media, but they do bring to mind ...

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The Necessity of Conflict in Relationships

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“I don’t like conflict.”

I have heard this statement countless times in the therapy room. Perhaps more than any other statement, and yet, I’m here to make the case for the necessity of conflict in your relationship. Oh my, here we go!

Let me preface by sharing. I don’t like conflict either but I don’t avoid it for the most part. I say ‘for the most part’ because I certainly have times when I know that I need to discuss something with ...

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Why are we not having sex?

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Sexless marriage is one of the top google searches when it comes to researching  marital challenges. Couples often feel shame when they are not having sex, so let’s make this a shame-free zone. Read this blog in an attempt to reach a better understanding. It’s important to apply anything you read to your own unique relationship. Pick out the bits and pieces from this blog and apply it to what might resonate with your relationship. Always remember that one size ...

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The Power of Accepting your Relationship

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It is often said that happiness comes from accepting our relationship. And most might agree that acceptance is necessary in relationships, BUT, the real question is: how do we get to that place of deepened acceptance in our relationship? This is a challenging topic. For some, acceptance may be a process over time while for others it may come a bit easier. Here are my thoughts on this challenging topic!

Start with you:

While it is understandable to immediately focus on the ...

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Is This the Secret to the Best Relationship?

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What is the secret to having the best relationships? This was the question asked of Betty White in an interview on the Today Show. They asked her this question mainly because of her age at that time, 93, seeking learned wisdom. Her response was “kindness, you don’t say the hurtful things even if you’re irritated or upset. Because that sticks, that sticks around or it just chips off the other person’s self-esteem”. Hmmmm, is kindness the secret? ...

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Subtle Fears and Your Relationship

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Different degrees of fear exist in all relationships. Just to preface, I am not referring to fear of abuse, intimidation, threats, and/or physical harm. I am referring to the fear that often goes unrecognized in relationships because when we think of “fear” we think of it on a larger scale. Fear of divorce or fear that your partner is cheating, for example. The fears that I am referring to can be subtle, beneath the surface. And I often find that ...

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Up close and personal: Learning about relationships on the road!!

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In my last blog, I wrote about my discovery of missing the small day-to-day encounters with my husband while he was away. Fast forward to writing this blog post and how I found myself being tested again! Funny how things work in a relationship, well at least my relationship – I don’t want to speak for everyone! Here’s our story, I know you will relate in some way or another!

My husband and I went to Vermont for ...

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Six Days Without My Husband – Lesson Learned!

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My husband and I have been married 26 years this August, and we’ve been together almost 30 years. As is true with most couples, we have had our good times, hard times, super challenging times, growing together times, and, well you know what I mean.

I recently learned a lesson that caught me a bit by surprise…….

But first let me say that during our 26 plus years together, I have experienced both being happy in my marriage and I have had ...

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